So I’ve been at my job for about two weeks. Very physical job. I have muscles growing in my arms and my thighs. I compare my job to an all day boot camp. I love it. Everyday is a challenge. I’m never sitting down for more than five minutes. I am constantly being challenged, constantly learning. I am ready to open myself to be creative like I used to be. Next week, I am buying art supplies so I can start my collages again.
While at work, I am justifying future purchases with my first big check. Sure, these Tory Burch shoes are worth $200. Oh yeah, those Burberry boots are a steal with my discount. I have a broad range of style from Manolo Blahniks to muscle shirts. It’s very comforting to come to work with Converse and denim while the rest of the world is rocking button-downs and slacks. Also, it is cool to work on projects, see the end result and watch people’s reactions.
My man life? Geesh. I’ve written off Future X Husband. Why? I am tired of playing games. Lately, I’ve been spending time with Keith (he has a name), my ex. We have a weird relationship. I truly love him, but not in that head over heels type shit. More like we got each other’s back. And the feeling is mutual. Right now, being in love with a man isn’t high on my radar. Having a man crawl outta bed to comfort and save you from a tire blowout at 3am? That’s what’s up.
With Keith, I can be myself. I can fart, tell dumb jokes and scratch his feet. I don’t think we will ever be back together. Things are fine the way they are. During my stripper/college days, he had my back when my family didn’t. He understands me. I met him when I was 18. Six years later, we are still the best of friends. We look at GQ magazines in bed and critique the latest fashions. We are fashion.
I know Keith isn’t the man for me. But he is my friend and I trust him. With Future X, I knew it wasn’t real love, communication and friendship. As far as trust, I didn’t know him.
Right now, I am going to concentrate on fashion and self-expression.
Everything else will work itself out.
Hopefully.
2 Comments
October 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Your job sounds incredible. Send some Manolos my way, please. In return, I’ll send the books that I get on discount to you
October 30, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I’m jealous, I wish I had your job. Sounds like fun.