So lately I’ve been watching Intervention on YouTube. It’s that documentary show that follows addicts in their destructive paths and the show ends with family confronting the addict to get help. Hence the Intervention. I’ve been watching them and as I watched it more, I start feeling sad. At first, it’s interesting and entertaining to see people at the lowest. Then, it turned to curiousity and wonder. Then, sadness and fear. Some of the women suffer from eating disorders. I know a little bit about eating disorders. I know that it’s not a food issue, but a mental disorder. One show that featured Allison was addicted to inhalants, was a cutter and anorexic. She consumed up to 12 cans of dust remover a day. Damn…She was so unhappy that it fucked me up.
Being curious about anorexia, I looked up anorexia videos and saw skeletal women, anorexia mantras and reasons to be anorexic. Jesus Christ, it scared me that someone would be so unhappy and empty inside that they would deprive themselves of food and happiness. These addicts weren’t poor people. They drive luxury vehicles, live in beautiful homes, have great, supportive families. It just freaked me out that people are so unhappy with the lives. Not to get all religious, but I am grateful for life. I thank God. I suffered through depression and with the help of counselors, I am a better person today.
The Thinspiration videos freaked me out. Why would someone be so unhappy? These people have everything. It made me think why not me? Am I one tragic event away from fucking up my life? Am I worthy? What the fuck is wrong with me? Okay, I know I am tripping. I consider myself a confident girl and just some research fucked me up. I can only imagine girls who are insecure and depressed go through…
Looking at Intervention, it taught me that happiness comes from within. People should let go of events. Most addicts had some trauma (parents’ divorce, sexual abuse, abandonment) and couldn’t let go. At the risk of sounding like a bitch, go to counseling and get that shit out. Humans have roamed the earth for ages. There is nothing that’s never been done or said. So, I admit, I am scared of people who are so unhappy that they resort to destructive methods. Damn, it’s contagious. I was just looking on a screen and it kept my mind wandering about suicidal, anorexic girls who are lying their ways through life to die a long and sad death.
I am not sure who reads this blog. I check the stats and I get some random people here. I will say this: You are never alone and there is always someone to listen. There’s no reason to go through life feeling like you’re not good enough, ugly, fat, depressed and not worthy of life. No, I am not a therapist, but I can listen and not judge. I am a former stripper. I can judge no one.
Hit me up at lolabananas@gmail.com
I’m here.
